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Bittersweet. Car/Broken Stomach/Dad Attack - The Purgatorium

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March 12th, 2008


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ohyesitsroxy
09:41 pm - Bittersweet. Car/Broken Stomach/Dad Attack
Having a car is so bittersweet.
I love the freedom and mobility. But, damn it, I have a BILLION more binging opportunites! I'm getting so bad, it's like I'm actually going to break my stomach. After so much b/p-ing today, my Mom asked me why I didn't want dinner and I was like, "Oh, I had a pizza party at school and ate so much, then had a frosty a little while ago..." and my fatass Dad goes, "YEAH RIGHT, she's been here eating the whole damn kitchen and is only saying she needs a shower so she can puke." I blew it off, but GAWD.
BTW he beat on me Friday night. I was smarting off all day [about him being a control freak] and then, when I wasn't even bitching, I was crying to my Mom, he burst in and attacked me leaving bruises EVERYWHERE! I was hurting so bad the next day, and I woke up to find he had fixed my car all up with Betty Boop [his lame way of saying sorry, but not having to actually say it]. I asked him why he hurt me, he said, "You will not push me like that again, and you WILL NOT be disrespectful to ANY adult. You should respect me because I am four times you're size and I WILL hurt you." So I popped a Loraset and got violently ill, because I didn't realize I'm not as big as I used to be and one of them CAN  and did kick my ass.
Sorry for not posting, I have been preoccupied with something I like to call FKitty, my state's gay standardized test which determine if we pass or fail. Who would have known 11th grade could be so stupid.

Anyone else experienced their bulimia worsen after getting a car?
 
Current Mood: gloomygloomy

(21 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:learnloveology
Date:March 13th, 2008 01:53 am (UTC)
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oh god. i want to slice your dad for hurting you.

you need to get out of that situation.

when i use to allow myself to eat fast food it was outrageous. i would buy shit from everywhere and then have a buffet.
From:lucid_lissyness
Date:March 13th, 2008 02:14 am (UTC)
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Yeah bumping into someone you know when you are at a supermarket with enough binge food to feed all the fat people on 'the bigget loser' for a week when seeing them there yesturday buying the same crap when THEY KNOW your living in a house of two people... is not cool.
[User Picture]
From:spyral_path
Date:March 13th, 2008 01:58 am (UTC)
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Your Dad can and should go to jail for that.
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From:textstfu_emokid
Date:March 13th, 2008 02:00 am (UTC)
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seconded.
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From:snuffiegonemad
Date:March 13th, 2008 03:16 am (UTC)
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seriously!!

i wish we could rescue you :(
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From:lakemi
Date:March 13th, 2008 04:51 am (UTC)
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totally. I wish we could rescue you too. I've got a nice pull out couch here that you could stay on. Too bad I'm super far away :(
From:lucid_lissyness
Date:March 13th, 2008 02:18 am (UTC)
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i would wanna jump in my car and move to the other side of the country... Fuck, by law he can't touch you... you know that right...
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From:friedapearl
Date:March 13th, 2008 02:20 am (UTC)
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I don't know about the car specifically, but I think anything that makes you more independent can propel things along.....

Gah, your dad......take care honey, please.
[User Picture]
From:arwens_ghost
Date:March 13th, 2008 02:33 am (UTC)
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I'm only going to say this once more, my lovely girl - you need out of there. Drive off into the sunset and be happy. Aren't there any local authorities who could support you. - beatings, fights, drugs - cars are pretty much a secondary issue, no?

I don't drive but I don't think it wold make my ED worse. It would make my bulimia cheaper - because the cheaper stores are further away. As I am now, living with my mum in the suburbs, the only food stores in walking distance are the expensive ones. (I only b/p at home). What DID make my bulimia worse was getting a bigger bag. I shop with a huge rucksack and fill it up and sneak the food into the house in it. *head-desk*.

From:climbfuji
Date:March 13th, 2008 02:33 am (UTC)
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it breaks my heart to know you're not safe at home. NO ONE deserves to be treated that way.

when i got my car back my binges got a lot larger, and more frequent. i think i did it most of the time just because i could.
[User Picture]
From:theo_bear
Date:March 13th, 2008 02:42 am (UTC)
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be careful girl, and don't believe him that any of it is your fault. there's no excuse for what he did. you probably know that, but the loraset made me worry that you might be punishing yourself. he's the one who deserves punishment, not you. i hope it gets better soon.
[User Picture]
From:x_battery_acid
Date:March 13th, 2008 03:11 am (UTC)
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I'm goanna fucking kidnapp you.
And then we can drive around and buy binge food.

(I'll hold your hair if you hold mine.)

[User Picture]
From:iamabee_buzz
Date:March 13th, 2008 03:27 am (UTC)
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Fuck fuck fuck. I seriously want to come beat the living shit out of your father. Or tell my father, and then he'll come down and do it for me. I'm sure he'll get what's coming to him eventually, but sometimes karma is too fucking slow. Christ.

I have an exceedingly comfortable pull-out couch if you ever decide to just get the fuck out of there. You deserve so much better than that shit you live with all the time. ♥
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From:paperflowers16
Date:March 13th, 2008 03:40 am (UTC)
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do you live in fl? we had those tests too. ridiculous. my sister cant seem to pass it.. i did okay. trust me, its so worth it when its over. what a relief

thats so mean of your dad. how awful. mine is kind of the same way. he has an incredible temper but he hasnt hit me in a long long time. if i do something bad enough i'm sure he would take a swing at me no problem. they grew up in a time when things were different and parents were more harsh when trying to discipline their kids. still, thats no excuse to beat little you. thats so wrong. take good care and hang in there. it wont be this way forever!
From:staceyeh
Date:March 13th, 2008 04:18 am (UTC)
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You are so sweet and kind hearted it breaks my heart to hear of your home situation. You dad can go to jail for his crap. I don't know if you told a school councillor or something maybe they can help. I'm really worried for your well being.
What kind of freaking monster beats up on his emaciated daughter he sounds like a really scary man. He could easily break a bone you're in such a fragile state.
From:joyfullynumb
Date:March 13th, 2008 04:20 am (UTC)
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Oh, this breaks my heart to read... spyral_path is absolutely right- your dad's behavior deserves jail time. And that's the nicest form of punishment going through my head at this point.
I don't have a car, so I can't comment much on that, but at this point I think you should use your car to get somewhere safe. Wishing you all the best.<3
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From:fts_whatelse
Date:March 13th, 2008 04:59 am (UTC)
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Would you actually be able to leave your parents if you had to? I know it sounds like I've called social services but in the state and stage of your life, you deserve to not be there...
From:kari_munster
Date:March 13th, 2008 08:08 am (UTC)
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did your mom do anything?
you should talk to her about the two of you finding a place to stay. the fact that your dad 'apologized' THEN had the balls to intimidate you and bame you on his actions without admitting he was wrong is psychotic. its only going to get worse. get out of there while you can.
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From:spin_cycle_89
Date:March 14th, 2008 01:38 am (UTC)
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i dont understand why you let him treat you like that.
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From:xxhotknives
Date:July 1st, 2008 06:50 am (UTC)
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I know I don't know you... but you really should file a report against your dad. There is no way he should get away with that & no way you should have to put up with it.
[User Picture]
From:back_2_blu14
Date:August 22nd, 2009 08:09 am (UTC)
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I'm sorry to hear about your dad...at the risk of sounding generic I know where you are coming from and I hope the situation resolves somehow...

and I second or third or fifty-fifth the idea of kidnapping you.

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